About Therapy
We’re often the ones getting in our own way!
Have you ever heard the expression, “I’m my own worst enemy?” Well, that often applies to get the support and help necessary to end our struggles. Why is that?
I believe we live in a society that emphasizes and reinforces the importance of self-reliance… a society that rewards the appearance of strength and grit in the face of any situation… a society that says you must always, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps and dust yourself off and try, try again.”
On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with that. But if it causes us to hide who we are by showing the world a “mask,” problems begin to develop because we have competing goals.
On the one hand, we want to feel accepted, loved, and close to others; yet, we believe we must not let them know how hard our life really is… or they may reject us, and we are afraid that would wound us deeper.
The facade makes us feel safe temporarily; yet, it also makes it impossible to create the closeness and safe relationships we long for with our loved ones.
All human beings long for closeness with others they care about. If I cannot see the real you because you are wearing a mask, I cannot know you or become close to you. If you cannot truly see me because of my mask, you cannot know me or become close to me. Wearing masks prevents us from succeeding in our goal of intimacy with others.
So why do we wear masks?
Many masks are worn out of fear, fear that others will see our failures, shortcomings, and weaknesses. Putting on masks prevents exposure of what we consider less attractive about us, such as feelings of shame or blame. Sometimes we wear masks to hide our pain. We wear them to prevent the pain of rejection.
Many people have experienced disappointment and pain in relationships. Many do not feel safe enough in our world to be vulnerable to those around them. By putting on the mask, we “appear” strong when we “feel” weak; and this creates a false sense of safety (or invulnerability) within us.
The reality is unless we become vulnerable, we will never “feel” loved. We can “know” we are loved, but we will not enjoy the benefits of “feeling” loved.
Take Matt* for example, who wears a mask of anger.
His anger sends a powerful message to others not to come any closer. In this way, Matt “feels” he is protected from those around him by displaying his anger to get them to back off.
The emotion of anger makes him “feel” more powerful than the feeling of hurt. Therefore, he is more comfortable displaying anger than showing vulnerability by exposing his deep hurt. Hurt “feels” weak. So, anger is used to avoid the pain of sadness by masking (covering up) the hurt. One writer described angry people as “sheep hiding in porcupine quills.”
Another example is Melody*.
She was sexually abused as a teenager and began eating more than her body needed to comfort and hide her pain. By college graduation, she was obese despite her first 16 years of average body weight for her height. When Melody entered counseling, she wanted to work on her “anxiety about my kids’ health.”
She had several children, and it seemed she was always taking one or the other to a new specialist to ensure they got the best of healthcare. Yet, she continues to engage in self-harm behaviors related to her health and didn’t see the masks she was wearing. By pretending to be an over-conscientious mother worrying over her children, she diverted attention from herself. She talked to everyone about her children’s choices and challenges to keep anyone from seeing her own.
In time, Melody realized she had even gained all the weight as a mask to prevent males from “seeing me that way” or “wanting to undress me in their thoughts.” She was going through the motions of life, yet hiding from those around her.
Cultural expectations can influence our choice of masks.
There are many different masks.
Masks can be anything we use to drown out and numb painful emotions by covering them up and avoiding the real issue that is bothering us. Some additional examples of masks are:
- Showing confidence for insecurities
- Puffing knowledge for feeling inferior
- Taking risks to cover up fears
- Playing helpless to keep others helping
- Name-dropping to impress others
- Happy-go-lucky disposition to keep others from knowing the parts of us they won’t like
The masks we wear or the games we play sabotage the very thing we long for… to be known and accepted for who we really are! The deep emotional wounds are beyond “sadness.” They are felt in the depths of your being. It takes courage to address all the hurt. Yet, it is the best gift you can give yourself, for you will learn to honor your pain instead of running from it. Unplug, put time aside to reflect, permit yourself to grieve, and then real healing occurs.
Masks are also worn to cover up anything we don’t think is “ok.” For example, anxiety is seen as a negative experience, and people will engage in behaviors to get rid of it. When they can’t, they will cover it up with a mask. Other negative emotions people often mask over include their feelings of inadequacy, depression, tendency to compare themselves with others and come up short, etc.
Did you know?
Anxiety is the number one debilitating mental disorder today for women. It’s number two for men, right below alcohol and drug abuse. Today’s world is going non-stop, and that can keep anyone in a tailspin.
Experiencing depression, anger, as well as having difficulty focusing, all weaken our abilities to cope well with everyday problems. If unaddressed, these quickly become a dangerous set-up for failure if major stress hits.
Our relationships with others are directly impacted positively or negatively by the way we handle the stressors in our life. Our self-esteem or ability to love ourselves and like the person we are is also connected to our ability to deal with problems in life.
Key Point: It is not the stress itself that creates the problem for us… it is our ability to deal with the stress! This is why it is essential to seek the help needed to learn strategies that will work for YOU in coping with the challenges you face daily.
You’re looking for a better way… and there is one!
The better way is to find a safe place to get support.
The better way is thinking outside the box with someone who cares and can assist you with breaking the cycle(s) you do not want to continue.
The better way is available to you today by taking one step in a new direction. And it starts with recognizing that seeking help is NOT a sign of weakness.
It takes the greatest act of bravery and courage to stand up and say, “This isn’t working for me. I deserve better. I want to feel better.” You have both freedom and power to choose to take steps that get you on a path of hope and experience the change you desire.
One of the reasons changes can become problematic is because we try to get others to do it. Or we try to create change in us by following the path we were told had worked for others. But you are unique, and others are unique.
I want you to learn who you really are in your beliefs, values, integrity, passions, etc., so you can utilize those in finding your journey to change. When we compare ourselves to others and try to do our lives “their way,” we lose momentum and become discouraged. When we find “your way,” we will know it… because it works!
You will find that our work together…
… is built on dignity and respect – on compassion, empathy, and positive change.
Dignity means “to be worthy,” indicating all people have the right to be treated ethically. It is an inherent right by merely being part of humanity. The word respect means “to look back at,” leading us to reflect and evaluate something. In this way, respect is different from dignity because respect is earned based on various aspects of our behavior, such as achievements, experiences, and accomplishments. Respect is also granted to us based on our character, how we have chosen to behave, respond, or handle life.
I respect and value you for who you are, what is important to you, and the choices you make in your life. I show you dignity because it is your right to be treated by me the same way I would want to be treated by you or another. I want you to feel safe and express yourself without fear of judgment.
One of my greatest joys as a clinician was when a client leaving my office thanked me for “your time in this blame-free/shame-free zone.”
By listening to your concerns, asking your opinion, learning who you are, and involving you in as many decisions as possible, I am endeavoring to honor you with dignity and respect.
I respect your right to privacy; therefore, while challenging you, I will not coerce you to share more than you are ready to disclose. Nor will I require you to do something too far beyond your comfort level. I will honor your timing to disclose information to me as we build rapport, ensuring you feel safe and know I am on your side.
No matter what circumstances have led you to call me…
Whether you’re looking for therapy for yourself or your child…
Whether you want to improve your relationships…
Whether you’re looking for guidance as you navigate legal issues involving custody…
Whether you’re ready to heal from recent or past trauma…
I will help you navigate through your darkest days and find a brighter, more positive life experience (even if it doesn’t seem possible right now).
I believe it is never too soon or too late to address struggles in our lives! Everyone can benefit from the support of a compassionate listener trained in scientifically proven methodologies. Regardless of your symptoms, we can work together to get to the root. As a culturally competent therapist, I want to empower you to heal, grow, and enjoy life!
First things first…
Is it hard to make the initial phone call because it feels like a commitment?
The unknown of what happens next when we reach out feels awkward or threatening. Sometimes the best thing to do is to make a phone call or send an email asking for more information. You don’t have to commit to anything. Just gather information for you to consider. Maybe call two or three people or explore websites, learning more about what to expect. Ask friends or family who have attended therapy about their experiences. Of course, you will not want to pry about private personal information; instead, ask whether or not they found it helpful. And perhaps, why it was or was not helpful to them.
Becoming an advocate for yourself and gathering information is a decisive step to finding the right fit when you are ready to begin the process of change that you want for your life.
*Names and demographics changed to preserve client confidentiality.
About Me
My name is Dr. Camille Shea…
I’m glad you are reading this because advocating for your needs and finding the right fit in therapy is so important. I am a clinical and forensic psychologist, licensed in the state of Texas, and have provided therapy for individuals, couples, and families since 2000.
In 2005, I began conducting psychological and neuropsychological assessments to help clients better understand their learning strengths and weaknesses as well as identify underlying learning, cognitive, and attentional disabilities.
My clients’ ages have ranged from 18 months of age up to 88 years. I have served a variety of special population groups, including athletes, law enforcement, domestic violence victims, sexual assault survivors, trauma victims, traumatic brain-injured clients, and prisoners. I have also worked for more than 15 years with individuals and families, seeking to improve their lives, relationships, and overall mental health.
One specific area of expertise for me is in the legal system.
I am a Certified Forensic Mental Health Evaluator and Certified Child Custody Evaluator. This means I conduct many forms of court-ordered evaluations for families in crisis.
I have a passion for working with families and individuals to help them find their voice in a confusing system. I have watched too many families struggle with making critical decisions without the support of a professional to help them navigate a path that works best for the child(ren).
I work hard to be a helpful and calming presence during these trying times.
I am a certified trauma specialist. I have completed several trauma certifications; the most recent is through the International Association of Trauma Professionals (IATP).
I also provide Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which is a research-based therapeutic intervention shown to help those who have experienced a traumatic life event.
Our bodies and brains can stubbornly hold on to trauma, thinking we are protecting ourselves – yet often, we are preventing our happiness.
EMDR is a powerful tool in reprocessing negative experiences so that you can make decisions from your goals instead of from a place of fear.
In terms of my training and experience…
I hold a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor of Business Administration. My undergraduate clinical training was providing services to domestic violence and sexual assault survivors. This population group was comprised of predominantly women; however, it also included men and children as well.
My pre-doctoral intern was in neuropsychology. After completion, I continued in that field, and my dissertation was on traumatic brain injury (TBI) and malingering (psychological deception). Next, I completed a year of post-doctoral work in the field of neuropsychology, providing neuropsychological assessment and therapy to a diverse population group.
After approximately three years of neuropsychological assessment experience, I accepted employment with NASA’s Behavioral Health and Performance division as an element scientist. This allowed me to work with world-renowned experts on many projects and research needs. Most significant was my responsibility for the research in the gaps of information.
The challenge was to design and conduct experiments and manage space flight-related investigations and projects for the four behavioral health and performance risks: 1) Risk of Performance Errors due to Sleep Loss, Circadian Desynchronization, Fatigue, and Work Overload; 2) Risk of Performance Errors due to Poor Team Cohesion and Performance, Inadequate Selection/Team Composition, Inadequate Training, and Poor Psychosocial Adaption; 3) Risk of Adverse Behavioral Conditions, and 4) Risk of Psychiatric Disorders, ensuring that the research carried out is organized to mitigate the high-priority, operationally relevant risks and develop countermeasures/technologies that support NASA’s vision for space exploration.
Approximately six years later, I left the discipline of research to return to providing direct clinical services. I am very grateful for these work opportunities, as mentioned above. My experiences in each culminated in a strong foundation in the three legs of psychology: Research, Assessment, and Clinical Services.
For approximately two years, I provided Competency to Stand Trial (CST) evaluations for a forensic population group before securing employment with the Houston Police Department (HPD). I served HPD for 7.5 years providing selection (psychological interview for hiring) and training of officers. The majority of my time was spent providing therapy and trauma intervention services to law enforcement officers and their family members. Also, I provided therapy services to HPD’s civilian staff and their family members.
My proudest contribution was authoring and presenting a mandatory training for over 5,000 HPD officers and 1,200 HPD civilian employees on the impact of trauma on all individuals, and how to remain resilient to burn through rather than burning out. Most human beings have experienced trauma at some point in their childhood or adulthood. Many have experienced a lot of trauma. Children of officers, spouses, and the officers themselves are no exception; many are survivors of trauma… whether in their personal or vocational lives. All of us, including and especially, first responders, need to know that unresolved trauma IS treatable. My work experience with HPD also allowed me to work with parents and CPS in precarious situations to find a solution in the best interest of the child(ren) involved.
Lastly, since 2014, I have been providing direct clinical services to the people of the Greater Houston area, and this is by far my favorite job! I also serve as the Director of Psychology for the nonprofit “I’m Bully Free!” whose mission is to protect all children and provide a safe environment.
My overall approach to therapy is eclectic and client-centered with a leaning toward Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Family Systems Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
I believe it is never too soon or too late to address struggles in our lives! Everyone can benefit from the support of a compassionate listener trained in scientifically proven methodologies. Regardless of your symptoms, we can work together to get to the root to accomplish your goals. As a culturally competent therapist, I respect and want to empower all people to heal, grow, and enjoy life!
On a personal basis, I have led a fascinating life.
Growing up in Georgia around a diverse group of people, I learned to appreciate many cultures. My extended family, as well as my nuclear family, is multicultural. I left Georgia at age 18 and moved 31 times in 19 years among six different states bringing greater diversity and multiculturalism into my world!
While, in my heart, my alma mater will forever be Florida State University (“Go, Noles!”), I am so grateful that we have been settled in Texas for over two decades now, with no plans to move!
If you have additional questions, please contact me to learn more: (281) 900-8040.
Parenting Facilitator; Parenting Coordinator; Arbitration; Mediation; and Advance Family Mediation.