Therapy for Adults, Children, Teens, Couples, and Families
Clinical and Forensic Psychological Services
online throughout texas
Family is at the hub of all that we are and do.
It’s the focus or center of our lives. Instinctually, we all want to have a peaceful family life even when facing problems.
Think about it. Much of what we do, we do with our families in mind.
We work long hours at our jobs for the benefit of our families. When we aren’t working, we usually want to spend time with our families. If we don’t hold down a job outside of the home, then we work inside to make special memories for our families.
Family starts with YOU!
Often, we wear ourselves out trying to give (and also get from others) what we are not giving to ourselves: Respect, Fairness, Compassion, Understanding, and Support.
We love our family members, and it is not unusual to discover we are doing what we think will make things better; but, change doesn’t happen.
We’ve all heard the cliché, “If you want something different, you must do something different.” However, if we are already doing our best, we may feel at a loss concerning what to change.
When our kids hurt, we hurt.
All parents have felt that kind of pain. And we don’t always recognize the flip side of that truth:
When we hurt, our kids hurt, too.
What matters most to us is our family. And when things aren’t going well with families, we inevitably, and understandably, find ourselves in crisis.
“Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family.”
– Paul Pearsall
Why couldn’t I have seen then what I know now?
Julie is tired of being disappointed in her marriage. More to the point, Julie is tired of needing a break from her own life. From her relationship.
She feels she doesn’t recognize the man she married anymore. She has caught him in so many lies, often tied to his drinking and “guys night out,” that she can’t trust him anymore.
She already had one divorce under her belt, from a man, who – looking back – was a better relationship than this one. She described it as “giving up 80% of what I had because I was over-focused on the 20% that was missing.” She doesn’t want to make that mistake again.
Suddenly, she hears the garage door open, knowing he is home. Her stomach sinks. Another night of not being real. Another evening without talking about what truly matters. She begins doubting herself again. Will she ever be able to live out loud who she really is on the inside?
Distance and Disconnection
Joe hasn’t seen his two boys, Alex and Trevor, for several months now. He worries that their minds have been poisoned against him by his wife and her family.
He is heartbroken over the time lost during their time apart. He didn’t get to coach Little League, and he wonders what the other parents think of him as well.
Under the current court order, he isn’t allowed to discuss the divorce with his boys. That makes him feel more frustrated because he doesn’t know how to help them understand that he didn’t abandon them, even if it feels that way.
Joe worries how he will ever be able to make it up to them. He feels out of the loop with school; he doesn’t know what their grades are anymore. He is feeling so discouraged.
Unspoken Fears and Hurt
At six, Isabella loves to play outside, climb trees, do puzzles, and sing songs. Isabella also is hiding a secret she is too terrified to share with her mommy.
When Isabella was two, her parents divorced; and by four, she was regressing and bedwetting almost every night. Her mom, worried about what this means, took her to the pediatrician who determined little Isabella had a UTI. Next, the suspicion of inappropriate touching was raised.
Isabella’s mom was devastated and furious that something may have happened to Isabella. Who could have done this? More importantly, who would be able to help her daughter?
Every option I have is catastrophic!
Bill couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Gina, his wife of 15 years, had just admitted to having an affair for the past year and a half.
His heart was breaking in two. His face felt hot. He wasn’t sure he could hold it together.
“What did she just say? She feels horrible and wants to work this out? Is she kidding me? I can barely look at her. This woman who has been my heart for two decades?”
Bill was furious, devastated, and crushed. It was hard to breathe. He thought of his four kids. “What is going to happen to them?”
Can he move past this and restore his relationship with Gina? Does he even want to? Confused, he didn’t know where to turn.
How did this become my life?
Linda was beginning to panic. Looking in the mirror, she was skeptical that the makeup would hide the signs of the bruising under her left eye.
“He promised, yet again, that this would be the last time… and he did seem truly sorry.”
But he was always sorry… afterward. Linda remembered the arguing about his drinking and the slamming doors last night. Their kids were cowering in the hallway, frightened by all the yelling and crying. Seeing the terror on their little faces broke Linda’s heart. Guilt screamed inside her: “It’s your job to protect them!”
“What is this teaching my sweet babies? I really need help. This can’t be all there is. Why can’t I leave? What’s the matter with me?”
Damaging Rippling Effects
Garrett is 10, with bright eyes and a big smile. Usually. Lately, though, he has struggled to find a reason to smile.
His parents are in the middle of a heated custody battle, and he can sense that it is getting very ugly. Garrett’s scared and feels like it’s all his fault. His family has been torn apart, and now he must live with step-siblings he doesn’t know well. He wonders… “Will home ever feel like home again?” Nowadays, Dad barely spends time with him.
Garrett has a hard time keeping up with the women his Dad is dating; and, whenever he starts to connect with one of them, his Dad moves on with another one. Garrett feels angry, depressed, and anxious a lot of the time now. But he doesn’t want to be an additional burden to either of his parents; so, he keeps quiet and stuffs his feelings inside.
Maybe if he is ‘extra good,’ his life will get better. His parents will get along. Perhaps he can be happy again.
There is an answer.
In times like these, it is beneficial to get another perspective from a little distance. It is sort of like driving through a storm where you know you really can’t see everything clearly because there is so much to deal with right now in front of you. We all need help from time to time, navigating new territory as we steer through the fog of life’s changes and challenging paths.
Whether your need is for consultation, therapy, psychological evaluation, or another service, the focus will be on finding solutions that work for you and your loved one(s).
Help your child by getting help for yourself.
Your home life is healthier. YOU are healthier.
When you can’t control what’s going on around you, find peace in the middle of the storm and chaos.
Hi, I’m Dr. Shea.
No matter what stage of the storm, my commitment to your family will help strengthen and build resilience within you.
You will be given tools to bend without breaking.
You are designed to heal and recover.
You are not like a water balloon. You are like a basketball – when the pressure comes, you can bounce back… not splatter!
I will help you learn to do this well. I will listen and truly hear you. I am ready to walk with you through all the toxic and volatile emotions during this therapeutic process. Please understand that you are not alone, and there is no shame and blame in this process.
I will work with you as you heal from relationship or personal traumas you are facing. In our work together, your children will learn skills to navigate the scary feelings they are having and learn to speak up, so their voice gets heard. And you will learn skills that will help you remain focused on your child’s well-being even during your daily struggles and ongoing problems.
There is a sacred moment of choice between what happens to us and what happens inside of us. Our choice at that moment brings freedom or bondage. If you are hurting today, you deserve the support of someone who can help you recognize your moments, explore your options, and choose the best path for you.
(Dr. Shea)
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Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
– Victor E. Frankl
Get the support you deserve.
Do it for those you love. Now is a good time to proactively
take charge of how you are handling your future. Make
decisions today that you can live with tomorrow, knowing
you have the insight and skills to continue building a bright
future for yourself and your precious loved ones.
Parenting Facilitator; Parenting Coordinator; Arbitration; Mediation; and Advance Family Mediation.